[light string music playing]
[birds singing]
[groans]
[sighs]
[groans]
Oh, great. You again.
So to what do I owe the pleasure this time?
[Klaus] Not talking, huh?
Well, then, listen.
I'm not in the mood for all of your riddles and allegories
and sick little parlor games, okay?
Can I just hang out for a little while to improve my tan?
I mean, you said I was pale.
All right, but could you just please tell me
which way that I'm supposed to go?
["Crystalised" by The xx playing]
[waves lapping]
♪ You applied the pressure ♪
♪ To have me crystallized, yeah ♪
♪ You've got the faith ♪
♪ That I could bring paradise ♪
What kinda snuff movie is this?
♪ I'll forgive and forget ♪
♪ Before I'm paralyzed… ♪
[Klaus] Hey.
[exhales] Hang in there, li'l me.
[footsteps approaching]
-[Klaus] Dad. -[stopwatch ticking]
[Reginald] Experiment Number 73,
cessation of life function at 12 hours and 22 minutes.
[Reginald] Restarting the timer to reanimation.
[stopwatch ticking]
♪ When you're the one That I've kept closest ♪
-♪ Ay, ay, ay ♪ -[inhales sharply]
♪ Ay, ay, ay… ♪
[indistinct chatter]
[chuckling] All right! This is more like it.
[Klaus] Hey, teen Klaus!
[people chanting] Klaus! Klaus! Klaus!
-[chanting continues] -Tonight we drink to childhood trauma!
-[Klaus] No, no, don't! -[partygoers gasp]
-[loud crash] -[car alarm blaring]
[winces]
[Stan] Whoa! This is so cool.
[Klaus] Hey, come on. Chop-chop, Stan. Gotta go see a man about a buffalo--
[groans]
[groaning] Oh shit.
[Klaus] So these weren't near-death experiences.
These were
actual-death experiences.
♪ Go slow ♪
♪ Whoa oh ♪
♪ Go-oh slow ♪
How do you know our mothers? What did you do to them?
Tapes. I need my tapes.
[Viktor] Hey. I'm talking to you!
-No! -[Harlan strains]
[panting] No. Not until you tell me the truth.
-I could tear you to atoms. -Try it.
[dramatic music playing]
[glass shatters]
[sighs]
[groans]
[whimpers]
[groans]
[panting]
[sharp exhale]
[Harlan grunts]
Why?
It was an accident.
-27 dead women is not an accident. -You're supposed to understand. Mom--
-Don't bring Sissy into this. -She swore you'd come back to us.
Make things right again.
So I waited for years.
You never did.
And on the day she died…
[voice breaking] …I felt you again. Here.
[screaming]
And I reached out.
It wasn't you.
It was our mothers.
You connected to them.
They were terrified about something
growing in them.
I… I could feel their pain.
Their screams so loud, like a storm in my head tearing me apart.
I tried to break the connection. I…
I… couldn't.
It was too late.
I pushed back.
[Harlan sighs]
After that, I just
hid myself away.
Just to be safe. Until now.
[sighs]
-[energy pulses] -[Allison hyperventilates]
Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey!
You're okay, baby. You're okay. I'm here.
You are okay.
You're okay. Yes, you are.
I got you.
I got you, you still got your voice, okay?
Just breathe for me, baby. There you go.
Breathe.
[Allison breathes steadily]
[softly] ♪ There been times That I thought ♪
♪ I wouldn't last for long ♪
[Allison sighs]
♪ But now I think I'm able to carry on ♪
-[Allison sighs] -♪ It's been a long ♪
♪ Long time comin' ♪
-♪ But tell me what I know ♪ -[soft chuckle]
-Change is gon' come. -Yes, my baby.
Change is gon' come, baby. [kisses]
[Allison murmurs softly]
[sighs]
[groans softly]
[sighs]
I'm not a fool, Viktor.
I always knew my life was gonna be hard,
but… never like this.
Never gonna hurt anyone. Ever.
That part's not me. That's--
That's me.
That's kinda my thing.
I've hurt a lot of people with my power.
And I am just so sorry you were one of them.
[sighs]
I need to tell your family what I did to them.
No. No.
Harlan, what you did had bigger consequences,
and people I love got hurt.
So we have to be very careful how we tell them.
Consequences? Like what?
They handed over the bodies, we got what we wanted.
Why do we need this old guy?
"Bodies"? You mean Jayme and Alphonso, our siblings.
-Or have you already forgotten about them? -No, you know what I meant.
We need to punish their killer.
-Revenge can wait. -Until when?
Until we deal with that thing in the basement.
It's getting stronger every day.
People from all over the world are disappearing now.
We need to work together with the Umbrellas.
The man who killed our siblings is an outsider.
Neither Sparrow nor Umbrella.
He needs to be dealt with before we can merge the families.
And if they refuse?
How do we save the world?
-[raven squawks] -[bell dings]
Hey. You seen Allison?
-What the hell happened? -It's, uh… It's not as bad as it looks.
It looks as if you're lucky to be upright.
-Did Harlan do that? -We just got in a disagreement.
-About what? -It doesn't matter.
So I just checked the perimeter. We're good.
-Now, we're gonna have to take turns. -[gasps]
Oh my God! What happened to you?
-Was it Harlan? -[Diego] What?
The Sparrows are right. He shouldn't be here. He's dangerous.
He's only dangerous because I made him that way.
This is my problem,
and I appreciate your concern, but I'm gonna figure it out.
I'm gonna fix it.
-What's going on? -Oh my God. He got you too?
You okay?
-Great. You? -Never better.
[all gasp]
[Lila and Five grunt]
[Lila panting]
[Five groans]
[Lila groans]
-Shit. -Shoo!
Where have you been?
Facing my mortality, Viktor. I don't recommend it.
You had the briefcase? We've been looking for this!
[Five] Well, look no further. That's the last one on Earth.
Or was the last one.
[Allison scoffs]
[Five] Yeah, that's toast.
[Five] Oh shit. All right.
Hey. You're happy to see me. What's wrong?
Turns out there's less time to hold grudges than I had planned.
You're off the hook.
Hey, where's Stan?
-Excuse me. One second. -Yeah?
Did you and Allison get into some kinda fight last night?
-[Diego] Hell yes! -[grunts]
We kicked some serious ass last night.
-What the hell's gotten into this family? -I don't know, but it's awesome.
[Diego] Swear to God, I've never seen her do things like she did yesterday.
She was brutal.
-[Diego] It's fine. -[Allison grunts]
You know, just needed to blow some steam off. I helped.
[Diego] She's good.
Oh, yeah. Real good.
Hey, Chatty Cathys, quit the chitchat, all right?
I'm calling a family meeting here.
Ah, ah, ah.
That means you too.
Where's Klaus?
I'll be right back.
Don't leave me with your--
Dieg-- Lost another. Great.
Spit it out, Five.
Oh, well, since you asked so nicely, sister mine,
our little paradox brought forth a freaking Kugelblitz.
What the hell is a Kugelblitz?
[whistles] Stan!
[Diego whistles]
Stanley!
What is all this? Acid?
Well, um, you told me to clean up my own mess.
I just have to thank you for teaching me such a valuable lesson
in personal responsibility.
Yeah, I'm not buying that. What's going on?
You got blood on you.
Come on, talk to me.
Hey, I'm your dad.
Um… okay.
But you gotta promise you won't be pissed.
[Diego] What did you do?
[Stan] Nothing.
-Do not lie to me. This is my brother. -[Stan breathing rapidly]
Tell me what you did.
We were just messing around, and it was fine.
Until the gun went off.
And you were gonna dissolve the body?!
I didn't know what else to do, okay?
[sobbing] You were gonna hate me, and I'd have to go to prison,
join a gang for protection, and end up in the hole!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I don't hate you.
I just… can't believe it, okay?
[Diego] All the stupid shit Klaus used to do.
I used to think he could survive anything, and now he's dead.
I'm really, really sorry.
[crying and sniffling]
Me too, kid.
[Diego] Come on and help me wrap up your uncle in the carpet.
I know you.
[woman] Of course you do.
I'm your mother.
'Course.
Is that menudo?
Yes.
Good stuff.
Mmm…
Mmm. Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
[laughs]
Mmm!
So how can you be my mom if you died before I was born?
How have you died 56 times and come back to life?
That's a trick question 'cause I didn't know that I was doing that.
Well, what did you think you were doing?
I just thought I was one of those lovable rascally Looney Tunes characters.
Hit me on the head with a hammer, and I see some cartoon birds.
And then, pop! I get back up.
Uh…
What's a "cartoon"?
Oh, seriously? You're so Amish.
-Oh! -You're so--
I'm kidding. [laughs]
We have all the channels here.
But mostly, I watch you.
Even the naughty bits?
I've seen you mourning me, and you don't need to.
I'm… I'm at peace.
Bah!
Peace is overrated.
And chaos is exhausting.
Only for amateurs. I'm a professional, Mom.
So just tell me, okay? Tell me who it was who killed you.
-You're not looking for vengeance. -I'm not--
You're looking for purpose.
And I can't give you that.
No one can.
Are you sure?
I know I'm new to this whole mom thing,
but aren't you supposed to help me, your son?
-What's so funny? -You.
All this time and energy
running away from the exact thing you're chasing.
No wonder you can't see what's right in front of you all along.
[light jazz music playing]
So this Kugelblitz, it's…?
The end of everything.
Every rock, every star, every atom sucked into a radiant black hole.
Randomly collapsing matter every moment in time
across all existence till nothing's left.
Hate to say I told you so, but…
You love to say I told you so.
[Lila] You know, it's impressive.
Whoever knocked off your mums hated you all enough
to end the entire universe.
We don't know that.
It doesn't matter who created the thing. We just have to kick its ass.
Oh really? How?
Are you and Diego gonna punch it in the Kugel?
The best plan is to go back in time and eliminate the paradox
and destroy whatever it was that took out our mothers
and stop the Kugelblitz before it starts, but we can't do that.
Briefcase is kaput.
And why the hell can't you just jump us out of here?
Last time I tried that, we all got trapped in time.
Do you really wanna risk that again?
What's plan B?
[Diego grunts]
Are you sure we can't just torch the evidence?
A couple flames from Mr. Burns over here.
Give me that, you little pyro.
We're not burning anything.
We're gonna go talk to the family together.
They'll, uh, understand that this was an accident.
Hey. No matter what happens,
I got your back, okay?
Tú ya eres mi sangre.
I still don't speak Spanish.
And I accept your flaws, all right?
Now… [grunts]
[bell dings]
[Diego] I got it, I got it. Just go get the door.
[Stan] No, let me--
-No. Go wait over there. Wait by the… -Okay.
Uh… yeah, we're, uh,
playing a game.
What's it called?
Guy in a Carpet.
I hope you win.
-Go get the door. -Okay.
[grunts]
[sighs] Klaus was right.
I love this place.
[strains] Okay.
-Get his head, get his head. -Yeah, I got it. I got it.
-Oh, that's heavy. -[Diego] Press the button.
Okay.
-Ground, ground. G. There you go. -Yeah. Okay.
[elevator whirring]
-[gasps] -[Diego and Stan scream]
-[Klaus screams] -Oh my God!
You told me he was dead, puta!
He was, and now you speak Spanish?
[Klaus grunts]
Let's just turn down the volume a smidge, shall we?
Celestial comedown is a bitch!
[Diego grunts]
[Diego] Whoa!
[elevator whirring]
Oh, you scared the shit out of me, Klaus! I thought you were dead.
Yeah. [breathing rapidly]
Me too.
[laughing maniacally]
[weeping]
Me too. Me too.
-[sighs] -[bell dings]
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Dude. Dude, slow down.
You were dead, like, three minutes ago. Like dead dead, all right, so--
Well, I'm back now.
Apparently, it's, like, a thing I do. Who knew, right?
And look, look, look.
[Klaus] It's… It's already healing.
What would happen if we cut off your head? Would it grow two of you?
Stan.
Would it?
[Klaus sighs]
-[Klaus] Gimme that. -What happened to you?
Oh, just a speargun to the chest. No big deal.
What did we miss?
The universe is ending, and we're all going to die.
[Grace] Why have you brought me before my God?
-Your right eye. Give it to me. -What are you doing?
If we wanna beat this thing, first we need to understand it.
[Ben] It's time to see what's on the other side.
[dramatic orchestral music playing]
[energy pulses]
-[Fei] Whoa! -[Ben] Fei, watch it! Grab her!
[muffled scream]
[Diego] What the hell was that?
[Five] That was a Kugel wave.
-[Five] Oh, it's getting worse. -[Luther] How long do we have?
At this rate of escalation, if you factor in--
How long, Five?
Four, maybe five days before the rest of existence is blitzed.
[Five sighs]
[breathing rapidly]
[Fei] Come on, Ben! [straining]
-[Fei] I'm telling you, it won't work! -[Ben] Hold on, Fei!
[circuits warbling]
[Fei and Ben panting]
[Grace] God has a million eyes,
each falling into themselves.
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
[Christopher speaks]
Oh, black holes? Really?
Am I just surrounded by morons?
Maybe he's right.
What if what Grace is describing is a black hole collapsing in on itself?
Oh, whatever.
[energy pulsing]
God is angry with us.
[Fei] We are wasting precious time.
This is bigger than just us. We need help.
Harlan first, then we can kill whatever the hell this is.
-[Luther] We should've given them Harlan. -Luther.
What about Harlan?
The Sparrows said if we turned him over, we could end the fighting,
and then work together to save the world.
But if we didn't--
But we tried to make peace.
Okay, and then the step-siblings from hell attacked, kidnapped you,
and they tried to kill us.
I mean, come on. We can't trust them.
Working together would be like trying to defuse a bomb by pouring gas on it.
It's only gonna make things burn down faster.
But don't we need the big bad glow-y thing in their basement?
Klaus, do you know where the Kugelblitz is?
Oh, yeah. I saw it. [dramatic gasp]
When I went to visit Dad.
It's in the old storage room where Mom used to keep all her luggage.
-Why didn't you tell anyone? -I did. I told you!
You say stupid shit all the time!
Of course. It appeared in the same place we did.
…important stupid shit.
[Klaus] That's not your fault?
I'm inside your brain, pulling levers and stuff? Serious…
-[Five] You don't think the Kugelblitz… -[conversation fades out]
Hey.
Why are you protecting this guy, huh? It's like Peabody all over again.
Harlan is nothing like Leonard.
Well, he's clearly got some kinda hold over you.
-Stop covering for him. -[Five] Covering what?
[Five] What's going on?
-He didn't mean to hurt anyone. -Really? You mean, when he did this?
-[Stan winces] Ow! -Wait, Harlan did that?
That's it, I'm gonna end him.
Look, I know how it looks, but Harlan didn't ask for this.
If we hadn't gone back to 1963, if I hadn't have saved him--
He killed Jayme and Alphonso, not you.
He's the reason we're in this mess, and he's our only way out of it.
[Five] Luther's right.
If we're gonna have an iota of a chance of getting out of this alive,
we need access to the Kugelblitz.
There's only four of them left. We can just overpower them.
What, and risk losing some of us in the process?
Harlan is insignificant.
You told me once that no one is insignificant.
They'll kill him.
[Lila] Uh, so?
We are talking about one person versus saving billions of lives here.
I mean, is this really a debate for you people?
Hey, Little Britain? You don't get a vote.
Lila lives in this universe too.
Besides, she's family now. Kinda, sorta.
Mm. Thanks, kitten.
I don't give a shit about the Sparrows,
but I'm not gonna let scary-ass Grandpa finish you off.
Five days ago, he was just a little kid.
And what? Now I'm supposed to just decide whether he lives or dies?
Viktor, we're down to ethical triage here, all right?
We can't save everyone.
The kindest cut wins.
You always wanted to be on the team.
[Luther] This is what it is.
Saving the world means making the hard calls.
I hate this.
Yeah, I know.
I'll go get him.
Wait, no.
Let me do it.
[Viktor] He trusts me.
I can convince him to come quietly.
[sighs]
What are you listening to?
Wind.
The sound it makes blowing through a field of corn.
Tractor half a mile away.
And horses.
Mustangs mostly. One palomino.
It sounds like…
Home.
Yeah.
Yeah, I remember.
What do you think would have happened if I had stayed?
We'd have been happy.
Or maybe I still would've ruined everything for her.
Hey. I know the little boy you were, Harlan.
You didn't ruin anything.
Then why are you giving up on me?
I can feel it.
I can't hide anything from you, can I?
That's our curse.
I'm sorry I couldn't fix things.
I tried.
But we never tried together.
I bet we could get it right this time.
There's still time.
You are obviously grounded, at least through to the end of the world.
Yeah, and you better recognize how lucky you are.
You know how many kids would wish
their cool dead uncle would come back to life?
-That's a bit random. -Not helping.
-Okay. -This thing won't budge.
-Together on three. -Okay.
One, two, three.
-Looks as good as new. -[Stan] All right.
Hey. Now you are gonna take all this back to where you got it.
And next time you steal, I expect it to be something valuable.
Okay.
Honestly, we need to set higher expectations.
-[Stan laughs] -Here.
You're gonna make me drop them.
Oh, no, that's a you problem, man.
Come on.
-Add it on. -No! [laughs]
-Here, don't forget the big one. -[Stan laughs]
That's enough, boys.
[whistles] Stan.
Ear medicine, downstairs. Don't forget to take it, okay?
Okay.
You know, you're a less terrible father than I thought you'd be.
Yeah, I think I'm winning him over.
I think all you gotta do is show a little bit of--
Wait, what was that?
I dunno. Sexy dad is kind of a turn-on. Plus, it's the end of the world.
Oh, okay. Well, I thought you already moved on to, like, many, many men.
So?
So I need to be wooed.
-You need to be wooed. -Wooed.
-Ooh. -Yeah, flowers.
An expensive bottle of wine.
Or I could find another DILF to play Daddy.
I'm the daddy here.
Yeah, you are.
[pool balls clattering]
Hey.
So, um…
should I be worried about you?
[soft chuckle]
Me?
[blows a raspberry]
Better than ever. Just ask Diego.
Ah, yes.
See now, you hanging out with Diego is how I know something's wrong.
[Allison] Hmm. [chuckles]
I know you, Allison.
And I know when you're drowning.
It's happening again, isn't it?
-Everything's ending. -Yeah, we'll figure that out.
[both laughing]
Yeah.
Or we won't.
Or we will,
but it won't matter
because the new timeline will be even worse for me.
[Luther exhales]
I can't keep doing this.
I can't keep losing people. It's not fair.
Hey.
Hey, come here.
[sighs]
[emotional music playing]
Uh…
I thought you, um…
No. I mean, I used to--
-I just can't. -Oh God.
I can't, uh…
It's okay. I just, um…
I just said I'd go see Sloane, so I'm gonna…
I'm just gonna go.
Wow.
[Allison scoffs]
You can't be serious.
You're blowing me off for some knockoff you've known for five minutes?
What do you even want from me?
-[scoffs] -No, come on, be honest.
If you had Ray and Claire back, would you even be here?
But they're not back, are they?
I get that you need a distraction, but you can't use me for that.
I can if I want to.
[soft chuckle]
That's not funny.
I heard a rumor you stay. [voice echoes]
Allison…
I'm done letting other people decide how much I can stand to lose.
Allison, please.
Don't do this.
I heard a rumor you want me. [voice echoes]
[emotional music swells]
[Luther grunts]
[Allison whimpers]
Stop. Stop.
Please stop.
Stop!
[Luther gasps for air]
[both panting]
[bell dings]
Wha-- Viktor.
[Viktor] Oh, are you okay?
I'm fine, um…
Are you sneaking him out?
I have to.
The whole family voted to hand him over to the Sparrows.
There's still a chance.
I can save him. I can take back his powers.
Get him out of town.
Yeah, and then what?
Then I can focus on the Sparrows and the Kugel-whatever.
-Yeah, that's a really bad idea-- -Look, I owe him this.
What if we fix the Kugel, and I don't make it?
And he's just stuck like this?
Allison, please.
Please, you…
You didn't see us.
[sighs]
Look, I will take him somewhere safe. But, Viktor, you have to tell them.
You don't have to do this.
You'd do it for me, right?
Okay. Harlan, you're gonna go with Allison for a bit.
What about you?
I'll join you as soon as I can. I promise.
Okay, go.
[Five] Hey.
It's time.
Where's Harlan?
-He's gone. -You let him go, didn't you?
Harlan's death is not gonna stop the Kugelblitz.
It's just gonna be another tragedy on a tragedy,
and we can find another…
I will find another way.
Well, congratulations, Viktor. [chuckles]
You managed to destroy everything.
Again.
[scoffs]
I really thought you were smarter than that.
[Klaus scoffs] Well!
That went great!
[Klaus sighs]
[Klaus strains]
-There. -Thanks.
I saw my future self die.
[gasps] That's crazy.
Almost the exact same thing happened to me.
-But I didn't die, but I did, but… -He told me not to save the world.
-And then he died. -I don't know.
-What do you think he meant by that? -Well, shouldn't you know?
Shouldn't you know about your-- Okay.
-Well, up your ass. -Salut.
Klaus, I've dedicated my entire life to stopping the apocalypse.
Apocalypses, plural.
-And he tells me… -Mm-hmm?
That it's… it's, what? It's meaningless?
Oh, well, I don't know anything--
Maybe that's his way of saying not to become him, but…
[Five sighs]
Oh, you're really messed up about this, huh?
[sighs]
I've cheated time so much,
I guess I just figured I'd somehow cheat death.
But it turns out, I die a one-armed nightmare
inside a bureaucratic hellscape of my own design.
Spoiler alert! [chuckles]
Not to mention the trashy tattoo.
[gasps] Ugh!
Is this your skin?
[Five] I'll be damned if I go out with an old man tramp stamp.
[gasps] If you don't wanna end up like this guy,
why don't you just do something completely different?
Completely different-- Move upstate, become an alpaca farmer.
Yeah, I could.
The timeline's malleable. We've proven that much.
I could try and break the cycle, but--
Yeah, sure.
Just keep your arms and extremities away from sharp objects,
and don't join the Mothers of Agony.
-What? -The tattoo.
It's the symbol of the biker gang, the Mothers of Agony.
You know them?
Like two timelines ago, they were… How do I put it?
My farmacistas.
This is good.
'Cause you know…
Thank you, Klaus.
All right, great talk.
Go get 'em, buddy.
["My Silver Lining" by First Aid Kit playing]
[knocking at door]
♪ I don't wanna wait anymore ♪
-♪ I'm tired of looking for answers ♪ -[knocking at door]
♪ Take me some place Where there's music and there's laughter ♪
♪ I don't know if I'm scared of dying But I'm scared of living too fast ♪
♪ Too slow… ♪
-Hi. -Hey.
Can I come in?
Always.
♪ There's no starting over No new beginnings ♪
♪ Time races on ♪
♪ And you just gotta keep on keeping on ♪
♪ Gotta keep on going Looking straight out on the road ♪
-♪ Can't worry 'bout what's behind you ♪ -[droning]
♪ What's coming for you Further up the road ♪
[droning continues]
♪ I hear a voice calling Calling out for me ♪
♪ These shackles I've made In an attempt to be free ♪
♪ Be it for reason ♪
♪ Be it for love ♪
♪ I won't take ♪
♪ The easy road ♪
-[murmurs softly] -♪ I won't take the easy road ♪
♪ The easy road, the easy road ♪
[motorcycle engines revving]
♪ Whoa oh ♪
[woman] What you doing here, baby?
-[man] Lost, kid? -♪ Show me my silver lining ♪
♪ I try to keep on keeping on ♪
♪ Show me my silver lining ♪
♪ I try to keep on keeping on ♪
♪ Show me my silver lining ♪
♪ I try to keep on keeping on ♪
♪ Show me my silver lining ♪
♪ I try to keep on keeping on ♪
[tattoo machine buzzing]
Been looking for you.
[rock violin music playing]